2006-10-28 - 9:29 p.m.
Second entry for the day.
Oh yeah, can I say YAY! Ross Dress For Less came through for me, I got the perfect clothes, and even though I didn�t exactly find the spiders I was looking for, what spiders I did find are truly excellent, and I must say, I do think I am fixed for spiders, now. I have two spooky tarantulas that measure five inches across, two other hairy spiders sized four inches across, ten three-inch spiders, sixteen two-inch spiders, and fifteen one-inch spiders. When I layed them out across my desk, I actually laughed out loud, they looked so funny�perfectly angry-creepy! (Spiders make me laugh, the way they just sit there�that is, they just sit there, unless they are moving!) That�s a total of 45 spiders. How am I going to sew all those guys on my clothes? Sewing them�that�s how I determined to attach them, one loop of thread sewn through their underbellies and the loop knotted on the inside of the shirt (that way, the thread can�t be seen). Other spiders will be coming out of my prosthetic cuts or coming up through holes in the shirt or pants. Somebody suggested that I glue them on, but I�m not really a glue man. Glued things always seem to fall off at the wrong moment and I want these spiders to stay securely. Besides, I�ve got to sew on the �spider web,� which is made of a white crocheting yarn I bought at a knitting shop for a dollar, and if I have to sew that, might as well sew together the whole thing. (And to think I have procrastinated for several years on sewing on some missing shirt buttons! Maybe while I am at it, I�ll take care of those, too.)
Ross still had on hand the red, nylon, long-sleeved shirt that I neglected to buy there yesterday. However, they now also had another red nylon shirt, a better one that to me looked closer to the real Spiderman shirt, and it looked really good on me (size L�and to think that when I started this diet a year ago, I was having to wear XXL). I tried on two pairs of blue jeans, not being sure what size I am, now (having lost 70 pounds, you know). I discovered that I actually could get away with wearing one size down from the size I am wearing now (another �yay!�), but I decided for this costume to go with my current size�the jeans and that shirt looked pretty sexy, if I do say so myself. But, while I was at it, I bought BOTH sizes of jeans�the next size down will be perfect by next month, I am sure, and as I still want to lose weight, I will be continuing to move on down through the sizes.
The jeans they had for sale at Ross were the �thrashed� kind (that are �laundered� in a tub of rocks, or something), so already with these �new� jeans I look like a pretty messed-up Peter Parker, attacked from within by mutated spiders.
Ross sells other things, too, and I happened to also buy there some things for the Hallowe�en party�s gift exchange (one stop shopping!). The party I am going to Hallowe�en night is being given by the former head of our school�s outdoor program, who lives right by the beach in Ventura. She got married this past summer, so quit her job and now works with her husband in his sporting goods store (to tell you the kind of people they are, she and her husband spent their honeymoon rock climbing in Spain). I think most of their guests will be fellow rock-climbers, hikers, and kayakers, so the gifts I bought for the gift exchange were a small pair of binoculars (like someone could keep them handy in their car�s glove compartment) and a squeezable �exercise gel� for strengthening the hands for rock climbing. We weren�t supposed to spend a lot of money for these gifts (however they are going to be distributed, by drawing, or what?), but I didn�t want to give something that was a �throwaway�. While new, these items at Ross were about half price.
Then I went on my spider-hunting mission. I did manage to find a temporary Hallowe�en store, this one called �Hallowe�en Adventure� in Woodland Hills, but they were oriented toward costumes, not party decorating, so while they had a HUGE supply of costumes and accessories there (and huge packs of teenagers finding the stuff to become witches and monsters), they were useless for spiders. I reflected on how much easier it would have been to have simply bought a costume there and been done with it, but I think once I am through, this �spider man� idea will end up being the better one.
Then I went to Ahhs, a novelty shop in Sherman Oaks, and this huge store filled to the rafters with Hallowe�en items was as crowded with people as the Black Hole of Calcutta. I realized that although MY two Hallowe�en events were going to be on Tuesday (actual Hallowe�en), there certainly were people for whom there were parties and events TONIGHT (Saturday)�so everybody by now was desperate and pushy. I did find some hairy spiders and the one-inch spiders at this store, so spider-wise, I called it a day�pushing my way up and down that store�s many aisles packed solid with people finally reached its limit for me.
Now I needed some kind of yarn or twine for the spider web that I want to sew around the upper portion of my shirt. I went to a knitting shop, which is an atmosphere that does not usually admit men. However, they had what I wanted�I got crochet yarn from their dollar bin. The woman who rang me up was complaining about being so old. She gave me one of those, �Young man, don�t ever grow old� speeches. Of course, the normal rejoinder to that is, �but it�s better than the alternative�; however, I kept my mouth shut, because I knew that wouldn�t cut any bait with her. As if to confirm my suspicion, she went on to say, �If I knew what it was like to grow old, I would have died long ago�not being alive is a much better alternative.�
What do you say back to a person like that? �You�re right, I agree with you; I�ll be dying soon�? Instead, I said, �Yes, but think of all the people who will miss you.�
�Anybody who would miss me is already dead,� she said. Maybe that was her �Hallowe�en atmosphere� talk�it would have been appropriate to have playing in the background the organ music from the Disneyland Haunted House ride (I love that music). �Hurry baaaaack! We�ll be dying to see you!�
I still had one more store I wanted to go to. Big Lots (what used to be Pic �n Save), where I still hoped to buy some more spiders, and maybe a spool of thread. Nothing but junk there (or, maybe I should just more accurately say �nothing I wanted there�). They had nothing for Hallowe�en, already having on hand things for Christmas. If it�s possibly a little early for that, it didn�t matter, people were buying it.
But I couldn�t stand being in that store very long, either. There was some kid, child, baby boy, I didn�t know, calling out �Ma!� over and over again, very loudly and extremely irratingly. I figured some kid had gotten separated several aisles over from his mother and was very scared. However, no mother desperately ran from aisle to aisle to rescue him, and the only person who responded at all was a Mexican woman unconcernedly filling up a shopping cart and every once in a while saying in a normal voice, �I am over here.�
But the voice kept at it (enough that I wanted to shout �Shut up� except I figured it really was a kid who was scared). However, after a while, I had been up and down enough aisles in my search for spiders and thread that I ran into who it was. It surprised me to see a very tall and very big guy (weighing close to 300 pounds), perhaps in his mid-twenties, carrying on a normal conversation on a cell phone (so he wasn�t retarded�and I use that word, knowing that it upsets some people, but I intend to apply it to that guy) and every once in a while interrupting his phone conversation to wail �Ma!�.
Where do we GET these people? And it�s my fault for setting foot into such a low-life place as Big Lots, but still�. I can only surmise that this man was still in the throes of controlling his mother with tantrums, that he was less trying to keep tabs on her location in the store than he was more trying to irritate her into finishing her shopping and taking him home. Spoiled AND �retarded�, I guess.
I ended up finding the thread at Rite Aid. Then I went home and collapsed. Sewing. That can wait for tomorrow.
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